原味人文风情：Five Stages of Watching a Disney Remake
Stage One: Why Remake This?
Why remake this?
No! Don't you dare! No! Disney is off limits. We are going to watch this and enjoy this thoroughly. Shut up!
What's up with your voice?
I have a cold.
Stage Two: Nostalgia
Finally! My favorite childhood movie in a brand new live-action version. What could possibly go wrong? Disney can do no wrong.
What's so great about Disney anyway?
I refuse to take part in your toxic narrative.
I did like Shrek.
That's not Dis...
Stage Three: Bargaining
Oh! They removed that one scene. Okay! That...that's fine. Huh! They added new songs. That's...good, I guess. Oh. Uh, that dress is sort of...underwhelming. I'm... No! I'm having fun! This is fun! Isn't this fun?
I like it a lot, actually!
Stage Four: Depression
It wasn't...bad. The CGI was nice. And it's basically the same story, but it wasn't really good either. I feel so empty.
Hurts, doesn't it?
Stage Five: Why Remake This?
Why remake this?!
Let it out.
Why the already good ones? Why not remake a Disney movie that deserves a better point of view, or repairing mistakes? Like, the Hunchback of Notre Dame without the gargoyles, Aristocats minus the racism...the Black Cauldron.
Oh, they are remaking that. Google it.
噢，他们在改编那部啦。自己去 google 一下。
Oh! Oh. How many old Disney cartoons are they planning to remake exactly? It's all of them, isn't it?